How to overcome self-sabotage

Often, we are in two different scenarios: 1. We are in a tough place as a result of our self-sabotage (conscious action or subconscious beliefs) 2. We are in a balanced state and look away from our tough thoughts. Sadly, this is not sustainable.

The only way to overcome self-sabotage in the long-term is to sit in those hard feelings and reflect on your inner voice

But how do we change actions that are so instinctive and habitual for us?

#1: Learn to be proactive, instead of reactive

We exist in a world pulling our attention in many different directions. Because of this, despite being of one body and mind, it is as if we have different motivators for how we should live our life. We wake up, check our phones, clock in to work and do what our boss asks of us. None of these actions are bred from our own mind. To become more proactive in your life, a few quick fixes are: 1. no screen time first hour and last hour of day 2. Plan for something you are looking forward to each day (or a project) 3. Be a leader in your friend group and help bring people together 4. Ask for what you want (an entire article on this later...) 5. WRITE!

If you want to build productive habits through a re-invented proactive lifestyle, contact me via email: davidantoninocoaching@gmail.com

#2: Become self-aware and challenge your inner voice

Next time you are upset, experiencing a loss, or dealing with struggle, reflect on how you speak to you. This voice is the most raw, authentic, and honest version of yourself. Many people are too critical of themselves or put excessive pressure on themselves. They will say it is because of others expectations of them, how they were brought up, or that this is the stage they should be at in their lives. However, more often than not, these statements are cover-ups for how they view themselves (consciously or not). Others expectations of themselves? How about, their own expectations for where they thought they would be at this time in their life. Or, their fear of letting people down?

"Being mean to yourself first will not make it hurt less if other people judge or reject you," - Brianna Wiest

#3: Role play in your mind what would happen if you greatest fears came true

After some initial discomfort, you will realize that you have a plan for most scenarios, or at least the confidence that you will have the resilience to get through those moments. Usually, our greatest fears [that are in our control] occur as a result of our inaction or fear of failure. Ironically, many people believe in learning from experience as a helpful tool. Tim Ferriss has developed a very good exercise on 'fear-setting' and one that I use in my coaching program. You can find that exercise and his explanation here.

If overcoming self-sabotage is your #1 goal of 2024, contact me via my email and let's get talking!

davidantoninocoaching@gmail.com

Also, if you are looking for a GREAT book on this topic, check out The Mountain Is You