Redefining Self-Worth: Breaking Barriers, Embracing Change, and Living Authentically

How do you define your self-worth?

The struggle with this question is universal, often evoking avoidance or a hesitant response. External factors become the measuring stick—jobs, salary, friendships, among others. We yearn for abundance in all facets of life, yet there is only one self, one unique existence.

To sidestep this question, we construct barriers in our behavior, procrastinating and claiming lack of time as our shield. At 11 pm, instead of addressing pressing matters, we convince ourselves that sleep is the priority. We declare contentment without genuine reflection, donning masks for society's fleeting approval, only to push others away when curiosity beckons. This dance, commonly termed self-sabotage, blurs with the line of self-preservation.

Self-sabotage = Self-preservation of who we are in that moment

Human beings are wired to avoid change and seek comfort. We want stability in our lives and for good reason. Enjoyment often comes from ease. However, no life is worth living when our emotional vault is so limited. It is those lows which make the highs so sweet. 

We attempt self-preservation to validate our self-worth

Without barriers, without preserving who we think we are, we confront our identity and face our greatest fears. This confrontation births liberation, bringing the ease we seek. No longer will you need to create friction in your life after you go through the painstaking and groundbreaking process of rebuilding yourself based on who you are now. 

Practice detachment

See your life as a portfolio of skills, not a sunk cost. Hidden beneath the surface are transferable skills that open unexpected paths. An improv comedy actor may seamlessly transition to a sales role, leveraging the quick thinking honed on the stage.

Gamify your life

You need to shake this belief that what you choose to do now means you cannot do something else later. Many people look at two options and think ‘either/or’ but we must think ‘yes, and’. Yes, I will get my degree in marketing and it will allow me to know color psychology for advertising, social dynamics for sales, and creativity for writing. 

Nothing that comes from action is lost, only reused.

So, where does self-worth come from then? True self-worth emanates from within. It is not grounded in what we do but in who we are. I am confident I will succeed because I am resilient and it is that resilience that gives me self-worth. I would not want to be a person that cannot persist through adversity. 

ACTIVITY:

Outline the attributes you possess that you admire. Find out how to use those attributes more in your day-to-day life. You will see your anxiety and insecurity diminish. When people ask you questions you will no longer take it with sting if you do not know the answer, you will know your worth and feel comfortable admitting if you do not know something. None of us are omnipotent or all-knowing, so we must rid ourselves of the pressure to prove ourselves and allow others to come to their own conclusions about us.

Does this sound liberating? If so, email me and let’s chat:

davidantoninocoaching@gmail.com